Over the next few days I will post a sequence of these Christmas Crackers which are made up of GCSE English Literature exam ‘howlers’ from some years ago [I recently found a collection from 1999!].

To find out about the origins of these, and the spirit in which they were collected and celebrated, please read my posting here.

There will be added nuances if you know the texts actually referenced and/or being responded to, but I also think they stand on their own. Enjoy:

The author thinks that Damon is not in love with Phyllis because he thought he going to jump off the cliff he looks down and sees his torment projecting, which could have a hidden meaning and mean an erection which he got out of his passion

Walsh is saying that because of his love he would not have cared what was happening, whether it was the regional haggis-munching finals or the Boar War

What’s the point of reading this poem The Twa Corbies? I mean you can’t even understand it anyway. If I was to write like that people would say “you can’t spell and it doesn’t make sense”

Mrs Rutter is seen as a pleasing pattern with bread-like qualities

The Lowest Trees is a very unrealistic poem. I mean to say what on earth have ants and tress got to do with love? Exactly. Nothing at all. See?

The beast has an outstanding effect on Simon. It kills him

I have to say that I am persuaded by these poems and they make me feel a bit guilt myself knowing that I have helped to create this immoral world, and it makes me think that I should attempt to sort it out

I am the self-consumer of my woes. This is an image of John Clare eating himself.

In What is Our Life, the message is ‘take your life more seriously’ because you will when you are dead

George is like a father-figure to Lennie. “You crazy bastard”. This shows the father son relationship.

there is use of a slash in the wrong place

Publicly, John Clare was rejected

She makes Kerry feel underneath her