With full acknowledgement and thanks to Gary Kaye and the band [and songwriter of original melody, TV Smith]:

I’m sitting in the teaching hub, trying to plan my week
But the spreadsheet needs some data and the raise on line looks bleak
I’m looking at my colleagues and much to my surprise
They all require improvement and then I realise
I’m looking through Nicky Morgan’s eyes

I’m standing in the playground with a massive bunch of keys
I’m giving them to businessmen who run academies
I don’t believe that teachers should be properly qualified
Experience counts for nothing and then I realise
I’m looking through Nicky Morgan’s eyes

The teachers are all cowering and fearing for their jobs
And Ofsted are marauding like a bunch of mindless yobs
I look into a mirror, I scream and I despise
I hate what I am seeing and then I realise
I’m looking through Nicky Morgan’s eyes