1. Saxon Rhyming Kings

Egbert was the first Saxon King,
ahead [wait for it] of four Aethels – that’s
wulf
bald
bert
and red
up until the first Great,
who was Alf-
red,

and each King had to wait
for the preceding to be pronounced led
off from their mortal bed.

Next was Ed, or Edward
as his name’s
longer word,

then it’s the fifth Athel-,
this time stan,
yet another man,
and then the symmetry of five more Eds,
or Eads – that’s
mund
red
wig
gar
and ward;

when not quite ready as he hadn’t
read the script,
back comes a sixth Aethel-
red II,

then one more, though second time around
to make six,
Edmund II Ironside
who would divide
his kingdom with

Canute

who cleverly ordered the tide to stay away
knowing it would roll back later that day
and make him a man [rather than a god],
his crafty nod
to normality.

Harold I was the next king for a bit
[a nasty joke if you look into it]
then Harthacanute until he made toast,
or a toast to be precise,

then Edward the Confessor
is the next kingly dresser
until Harold II was the last
Saxon successor.

2. Norman Kings Haiku

Four Kings are your lot:
Williams 1 and 2, Henry
1, Stephen the Nought.