The UK Elastomer to the USA

Knock knock

Who’s there?

The Elastomer

The Elastomer who?

Nigel Farage, the UK Elastomer to the USA

Isn’t ‘elastomer’ a synthetic, rubbery substance?

That’s what I said.

It’s the best I could do at short notice. I mean having just watched the 10 o’clock news. Of course I’ve been aware all day of Trump’s tweet about Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, but I have had other things to do rather than respond immediately, like go to a poetry reading given by a great American poet who couldn’t resist expressing his despair at Trump’s election. Watching the news this evening I too despaired at the government’s and the media’s complete inability to treat Trump’s tweeted suggestion with the comic derision it deserved.

Everyone has responded with such seriousness. Even the buffoon Boris couldn’t really make a joke out of it in the House. I guess he saves the ‘best’ of these to alienate European Heads of State. An ex-ambassador was wheeled out by both the BBC and ITV to explain the realities of the protocol for the UK deciding who its ambassador to the USA is  going to be. Protocol? How utterly absurd. As if Trump would know what this word means, let alone follow it.

It was Trump’s joke too. And whilst he probably actually likes and rates Farage – one volatile Machiavellian maverick to another – we know that Farage is also a joke. Dangerous yes, but still a joke. And Farage has today milked it for all its creamy worth. And which Simpson character does he most resemble? I couldn’t quite work it out this evening watching his sweaty, elastomer face on the ITV 10 o’clock news.

Anyways, that’s enough of this for now. I’ve got the following to work on for more Knock Knock deflections:

great grandmother
knight bachelor
lord chancellor
sea lavender
slide fastener
snap fastener
spike lavender
stage manager
vice chancellor

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